Just Jones'in

Gratitude

Just jonesin — Mon, 27 Jul 2009 21:26:45 GMT

Well I thought I should come here and write, but alas, I don't know what to say! I was thinking, I don't really know what goes on in the world these days, as it seems my whole life is consumed with the subject of sleep! Which likely isn't too exciting for many! So I read WearManyHats' article, and got to thinking about appreciation. I thought the least I could do today is list ten things I'm grateful for right now; so here it goes:

1. My son (Yes, even though if our lives were a movie, it would be called Sleepless in Long Beach)

2. My husband, who works so hard at a job he dislikes, for his family

3. We still own our condo!

4. That my son is napping (still!)

5. Air conditioning

6. Quiet

7. FiOS (don't ask, but only because we no longer have a cable running from our balcony through our living room, which makes me ecstatic)

8. Kitchen is finally painted!

9. A glass of good red wine

10. My baby boy's hugs (when he chooses to give them, there's nothing like it)

I want to start being more grateful...

The Secret, to Cry or not to Cry

Just jonesin — Mon, 13 Jul 2009 20:49:52 GMT

Sorry it's been so long! Also just want to apologize as some comments ended up on the wrong posts (?) Don't know how that happened, but fixed it now...Wow, there are some strong feelings about the legalization of marijuana, as would be expected I suppose. Who knows where we will end up with that. Time will tell...And I've been given hope by a couple of women who've also experienced sleep deprivation, thank you so much! Actually, for a short time I got really into "The Secret", I have some books on it and stuff, and it makes a lot of sense to me--it's actually very scientific. Well, I've fallen out of "practice" with it, but was thinking the other day that I talk so much about my boy waking up at night, etc, I have possibly made it worse (you'll know what I mean if you've seen "The Secret"). So, now I shall change subjects and report (really!) that he did sleep much better last night, and is taking an OVER 2 HOUR nap!!! Makes me so happy : ) And I have also been pondering the subject of "crying it out". I have not thus far believed in it, nor really done it (I have let him cry at times, but depending upon the type of cry I go in to him). Was wondering what you think about "sleep training"? Well, my pumpkin eater seems to be waking, so got to go, everyone have a wonderful day!

A crazy idea?

Just jonesin — Sun, 28 Jun 2009 02:59:24 GMT

Well, I just noticed that somehow this post has disappeared from my blog, so here it is again!

I have an idea. Call it Socialist, crazy, or whatever you like. But I just thought I'd put it out there for those who live in Southern California. The financial situation in California is abysmal right now. I think the amount of debt we're in is historic. And terrible. I'm not going to comment on how we possibly could have gotten into this mess, but we are certainly paying for it now. There have already been many layoffs, programs closed (including summer school), and discussion of closing 3/4 of the State Parks, among other things. My husband and I both work for a State developmental center, so already are taking a 10% pay cut (which is "made up" for with time on the books), and they are talking about another 5%. Plus, taxes going up, etc etc. The list goes on. So, how many million adults reside in California? I suppose I could find out on the Internet. I was just thinking, if everyone donated $5 or $10 or whatever they could (some would donate less, some more), would it wipe out at least half the debt? What about if we who live here could pay it ALL off with a one time donation, and start over, just start completely clean. I would rather give $25 now than continue to pay higher taxes, take pay cuts, layoffs, cuts in programs for who knows HOW many years...I know, sounds naive (and likely is) and too simple and "we shouldn't have to do that" and all that will happen is those in power will get us in the same situation again...but why not try? If we pool our resources, we could get out of this mess together. Just a thought...what do you think? Should I start donations?!

Simple as that?

Just jonesin — Sat, 27 Jun 2009 21:29:11 GMT

OK, I have an another suggestion (besides the one posted below) to help end California's budget crisis:

Legalize Marijuana

Duh. (Or as we used to say in the 70's, "No Doy", pronounced while poking and turning the index finger in the cheek)

Nuff Said.

Poooor California

Just jonesin — Sat, 27 Jun 2009 21:26:33 GMT

You know how when people run out of money, sometimes they end up on the street? What will happen when California runs out of money, will it slide into the ocean? Or just go live with it's relatives in Arizona?

So Much for That

Just jonesin — Sat, 27 Jun 2009 21:24:10 GMT

Well, that didn't last long...up again, quite a bit, actually. Mama wasn't feeling so patient last night. Blame it on teething? Seems like that's the "catch-all" for everything! Even baby Tylenol didn't work, when it usually does if that's the case. Before, I swore I'd never use any meds unless they were ABSOLUTELY necessary. Still, I try not to use it much, but somehow it's getting easier and easier. (I also thought I wouldn't let him watch TV until he was two, but that went right out the window--when I was having all those horrid breastfeeding issues, all I did was sit on the couch 24 hours a day with my boobs hooked up to some contraption or another trying to avoid using a bottle nipple, so what was a woman to do? I HAD to have the TV on, so since he was a babe, there it was. We love Baby Einstein's!). So, tried everything last night, couldn't figure it out, too hot, too cold, too wet, too dry, too what the hell??? Oh well, Mama had a good half a pot of coffee so she's feeling fine! And now he's napping so all is good. Really he's my sweet little cuddle up happy kid during the day. One day when he's a teenager he'll make up for it and sleep until noon, right?

Whoopee!!

Just jonesin — Sat, 27 Jun 2009 21:22:13 GMT

He slept all night. I mean ALL night. Without much of a peep. I awoke at 3 AM and got kind of worried, actually, as I hadn't heard anything. But overall, I think he's finally turned the corner! Of course, there's always bouts of colds or teething, or colds AND teething, as was the case the past couple of weeks...but now he's better, he sleeps! So, funny thing you do when that happens, you try to say, Oh, it's the shorts, he slept in shorts instead of long PJ's that must be it--or my hubby said "we should put him in a regular diaper all the time" as we'd run out of "overnight" diapers and to my dismay and anxiety about him leaking all over and having to change everything at 2 AM, he did not leak and all went well. Or, you try to feed him EXACTLY the same thing you fed him at EXACTLY the same time and have him drink the same amount of bed time bottle, etc etc. But we always try to figure it out, and we know deep down that none of those things REALLY makes a damn difference. It's just the luck of the draw. Anyway, Baby D is walking all over and imitating everything and talking (or trying to talk--some words he's actually good at) and laughing and although it's still demanding and tiring and 24/7 and all that, it seems to be getting easier overall...of course there are some of THOSE days still, and THOSE nights, but on the other hand he's becoming so much more fun. And, Grandma bought him his first pair of shoes--the good, walking kind of shoes that cost some dough--she insisted, who am I to say no? (I personally would have just gone to Target or something, but now I realize what good baby shoes are) And my God he if he isn't the cutest thing walking around in them, he actually looks like a real little boy picking up his feet and toddling around and tripping over himself. Anyway, I realize they all are cute in their first pair of shoes, aren't they? And I also realize it's getting late and I'm blabbering on about shoes which no one proabably cares about and my husband is going to sleep next to me and the striking of the keys is likely not the most pleasant sound to fall asleep to and no I haven't had 10 cups of coffee (in fact I'm having a glass of red wine)....Phew! I'd better turn this thing off and read or something. Bye for now!

I love him so, but....

Just jonesin — Wed, 03 Jun 2009 06:25:38 GMT

OK, I just googled "motherhood sucks" and am glad to know that I am not alone. Today was just one of those days, you know? And I only have one kid! I think I must be crazy to want another one, but despite these days where one runs into another and it all sort of starts to become a blur, I do want to try. Anyway, it's just not fair. This is what I whined to my husband on the phone today because my son took 2 and a half (!) hour naps both days prior with my husband (while I was at work), and then I barely get an hour. What happened? What the hell am I doing wrong? I never get (well hardly ever) even a 2 hour nap...so I did it all like he did it, and still my babe took a shorter nap then he usually does. I was soooo irritated. Really I was. Especially since today my husband is working a double shift so it's the only day I really needed him to give me a little break with his nap. I know, I know, it's not his fault. He's just a baby. But man was I mad at that little guy when I heard him waking up! And I keep thinking, I need to get out. I need a break. It's been way too long. I'm ready to go. So the plan is when my husband gets home from work tomorrow, off I go! And dammit, I'm staying out til 10! But do I go, as my hubby did a double then works and then comes home and I just take off? I don't know...maybe I should postpone it. But if I don't get out soon, I'm going to literally go insane! This stay at home mom stuff (well now I work 2 days a week) is soooo hard. Well, there you go. I just had to let off some steam. It's just been quite the day (I could tell you more, but I won't bore you any longer!). When's he gonna be 5? Does it get any easier then?!

Surgeons, Pilots, and Moms

Just jonesin — Wed, 27 May 2009 02:39:05 GMT

Sorry it's been so long (if anyone's been reading lately!)
Something must be wrong with my kid. I don't know anyone else whose kid is one year old and now waking up every 45 min to an hour. This has been happening for 3 nights in a row, and even before that, he wasn't the greatest sleeper. Still, I could handle once or twice. This is ridiculous. And I find myself eventually just getting angry at him, which only makes matters worse. I've never believed in the "cry it out" method, but last night I actually turned off the monitor for a bit because I just couldn't take any more. I did wake my husband (who had just done a double shift) because I literally could not get up again. I think I may have gotten 6 hours of sleep over the past 3 nights. I didn't sleep, I mean really sleep, until 4 AM. Then he was up at 7:45, and only napped for one hour. I seriously thought about contacting a psychologist or social worker and saying HELP! We need HELP! To top it off, we have no babysitter yet. We did meet one (YeaaaY!) and she's coming to be with baby D a couple hours while I'm here, so he can get used to her. We love her! Trouble is, so does everyone else, plus she's in college, so she's busy. We needed someone yesterday. We are both just SOOOO exhausted. I'm really at my wits end with this. I don't know what to do or what the problem is. We did recently switch to whole milk (could that be it?) All I know is I need to talk to a professional! I mean, I know sleep deprivation is a real thing, and I've GOT IT. I used to console myself with, surgeons and pilots do it, well so do moms. The bright side, if there is one, is that at least he's still in a good mood all day. I don't know how, but he is. Boy, baby D, you are really testing us. I tell you, this motherhood thing really IS the hardest job in the world. If anyone has any suggestions about the sleep issue, I'd really appreciate it! Have a good evening all....here's to hoping for some sleep tonight!

I love you, baby D

Just jonesin — Wed, 27 May 2009 02:36:25 GMT

Saturday, April 25, 2009

Last night I had an epiphany! Well, I don't know if that's the correct term for it, but it was a sudden change in how I viewed things. I was sitting in my baby's room trying to put him back to sleep in the chair with a bottle, probably for the third time (?), getting frustrated and angry as usual, and then I had this thought: Hey, wait a minute, this was my dream. This was what I wanted, to be sitting here in the dark, in the middle of the night, with my baby. In the midst of going through all those losses, the miscarriages, this is finally what I wanted. A beautiful, perfect baby boy that I could nurse (well, now bottle feed) in the night, and hold and love. No, he's never been a great sleeper, but I realized in that moment, that this was what I had dreamed about, and suddenly instead of being so angry and tired and frustrated, I became so grateful it almost made me cry. And all along lately I've just been complaining and negative and tired and angry at him, when my God, I sat there in the quiet darkness and thanked the Heavens for giving him to me and thought how incredibly lucky I am, and how many women and couples are out there that would give their right arm to be able to get up in the night and be tired and cranky and sleep deprived in exchange for holding a baby in their arms. Of course, when he awoke again at 2:45 AM I went right back to my old self. But I'm going to try to remember this, to be grateful, to remember all those times I was so disappointed and sad for another loss, to appreciate the miracle that he is. Even if it's 3 AM. There's never a time to forget what a gift he is. Thank you Universe. Thank you.

Back to posting!

Just jonesin — Wed, 27 May 2009 02:35:09 GMT

Friday, April 24, 2009

I know I'm supposed to post (and I want to!) more often, but I just don't know how people with more than one kid, or single moms, do it (not posting, necesarily, but just living!). I mean, Yes, I want another child, but do I just think I'm really busy with one and then when I have two I will realize I wasn't that busy?? My husband said the other day, after we neglected to call his mom back and she was a little peeved, "People just don't realize how busy we are". Now that I'm back at work part-time, it's even more hectic. Get home, feed baby, make dinner (maybe), bath time, play time, books and bed. Then, we may get to relax a little, and the last thing we want to do is call people back, do bills, etc etc. Anyway, I can't believe my little one's ONE! The day before his birthday I got a bit teary-eyed about the whole thing. We had a great party in the park and he was so good the whole time. Unfortunately, he got sick the next day and only got worse. So for 2 nights, NO sleep for us! Poor guy has been sick with something on and off for a month or two. Pleeease for the sake of our sanity, get well!!! Got to go for now, but will post more STIMULATING, eXcITinG stuff (can you see the sarcasm) at some point in the near future. In the mean time, check out my Happy Hour Reviews if you live in Long Beach (I just added a new one).

To have, or not to have (more children, that is)

Just jonesin — Wed, 27 May 2009 02:32:56 GMT

Tuesday, April 7, 2009

OK, so this not sleeping thing is REALLY getting old. Although, I think I've actually trained my body to manage to get through the day looking like a real, actual person who knows how to do things and can carry on somewhat of a conversation (which I must admit is usually with my almost one year old son so that's not so impressive). The "conversations" I have with him mostly consist of speaking in a high pitched voice (why?) saying things he says like "ra ra, ba ba, mama, ya ya and so on. Or telling him "no" or pointing out the names of things, explaining what it is I'm doing, or singing Itsy Bitsy Spider or If you're Happy and you Know it. At which times sometimes he is not happy and sometimes he is. And sometimes I'm not happy and I know it, and all I feel like doing is sitting around watching the Real Housewives of New York! Alas, I have excuses for why he's not sleeping these nights--poor little guy--he's teething, and he's sick and on antibiotics which is truly messing with his tummy. Which brings me to the current subject of more children. My husband is adamantly against trying for another, but I (crazy me) would really like to try for one more. I know, I am grateful for the one we have after all we've been through and I realize my age is quite a factor, but I just want to try through the end of the year. We both feel very strongly about our positions. So, who wins? What do you do in this situation? We're at quite an impasse with it right now. Has anyone else had this situation and what did you do?

Flaws...

Just jonesin — Wed, 27 May 2009 02:31:15 GMT

Tuesday, March 31, 2009

There are some major flaws in the design of the human being. I mean, what's up with taking several months to get all your teeth? Why not be born with all your teeth and just be done with it? Oh, that breastfeeding thing. I forgot. OK then, I would have made it so when the teeth do come in, they do so all at once, and in doing so, the teeth poking through the gums elicit a response of a body chemical akin to a tranquilizer for the day, and then it's over with. Another thing: Why can't we just be born knowing how to sleep? We're born knowing how to pee and poop, so why not sleep? Seems like a basic bodily funtion to me. Should go right along with what comes in must go out. Right? Since I'm on the subject, nine months?? What's up with that? Anyway, enough of that. I could go on and on. By the way, maybe I should be trying to find out what's going on in the world today. Unless you'd kindly like to tell me. All I've seen is Sesame Street, and I already know my ABC's (thank God). No really, I suppose I should get going for now, there are things to be done while that sweet boy of a boy is snoozing. I have many more ideas for posts, but all these are unfinished things and writings. Like an idea for a weekend trip to Paso Robles...aahhh...

more American Idol musings...and book recommendation

Just jonesin — Wed, 27 May 2009 02:29:41 GMT

Friday, March 27, 2009

OK, so Scott, the blind guy on American Idol, is a nice guy and great pianist, but what the hell is he still doing there? Out of the bottom three, he DEFINITELY should have been the one to go. I just don't get it. Guess he has a lot of people voting for him. The guy just can't sing that well!
Anyway, on another note, I have a great book recommendation, on the life of parents of a 3 year old and a baby to come. It's called "Waiting for Birdy", and although I'm only in the beginning, I've already laughed out loud several times. Good, easy and very funny read. The author is Catherine Newman, and I really like her style. On a third note, I still am not getting any sleep! How long can this go on? Are we doing something wrong? I mean, he is still a little sick and maybe getting a tooth, but for God's sake somebody do something! At 2:30 AM my husband asked me, "What do you want me to do?" in an irritated sort of way, to which I replied, "I want you to get someone to stay here for a week so we can go somewhere and sleep!". Of course, if that really happened I wouldn't be able to do it because I couldn't leave him overnight like that. What a conundrum. Last night I just wanted to scream at the top of my lungs. But then someone would have called the police, so....maybe I need to find some wilderness somewhere and do that. Or, there should be a place, like a hostel, but for mothers, with nice, luxurious but dark rooms that you could drop by any time and just sleep while your partner's with the baby. No charge, of course. It could be run with donations from mothers or something. Anyway, according to my email from "The Secret" I'm supposed to be living in Joy, so what the hell am I doing? Here we go, I shall be in Joy now! Bye,
D

My three cents on American Idol

Just jonesin — Wed, 27 May 2009 02:27:00 GMT

Unlike many Americans, this is the first season I've ever watched American Idol. How I got hooked: My mom in law was visiting and wanted to watch it, and the next week my mom was visiting and we watched it. So, we were hooked. Even my husband, who cannot believe we're both actually into it. That being said, I didn't get to watch every performance tonight (gee, why, you ask? Because that tiny human being in the other room kept waking--as usual lately). My hubby's favorite is Danny Gokey--and he is really good. Adam was terrific tonight. Megan Joy, in my opinion, does not have a great voice (she kinda reminds me of Edie Brickell for some reason), but she's got her own style which is probably why she's still in. I mean, good voice, but not amazing or anything. And (I may get some flack for this), although Scott is a great pianist, I just have never thought he had that great of a voice. There were some better than he that were cut from the final 13, in my opinion (which isn't really worth that much!), so I sort of can't believe he's still there. Lil has an awesome, amazing voice, but I agree the song she chose tonight just wasn't her best. I loved Anoop's performance tonight, and I think we have yet to see the 16 year old Allison--great voice--who could win it all. Anyway, there you go, for what it's worth. What do you think?